What does underwear mean to you?

It was about 6.30pm on a Wednesday evening, I was on a packed train from Oxford circus just trying to survive the rush hour of sweaty pits and bacteria so big you could kill them like mosquitos by slapping your palms together. It was a regular ole evening with regular ole passengers until suddenly the crowd started to part like the Red sea. A beautiful, slim, brown skin girl with thick curly hair walks in with such aura and confidence that I had immediate self esteem issues and my negative self (lets call her Halle Berry) started talking to my real self (call this one Beyonce) and it went a bit like this  
Halle Berry: When I told you not to eat calories today you thought I was joking

Beyoncé: *praying against 3000 calories borrowed from the next week*

Halle Berry: See yourself? Unrepentant beesh ?

Back to the train. I realised one of the reasons why the crowd parted for her was because she was like a goddess that graced us mere mortals with her presence on the Victoria line and partly  because she had three big bags of Ann  Summers and Victoria secret. Now things began to make sense to me, this goddess had an active sex life and wasn’t afraid to show it.

I got thinking about underwear. How many of you in long term relationships now see underwear as a basic human right not something for your other half to get some enjoyment from. When I go to the shop to purchase underwear, I give it the most vigorous stretch test that even a 500 year old Egyptian  mummy would be so proud of my attention to detail of elasticity. I want to know if it will stand the test of time. I talk to the underwear, telling them of the “Family 5 year plan” (you are part of us now forever so I need to do my due diligence). I spend hours looking at reviews of the newest most comfortable bras with air lite technology but bras like that look like they were designed by the Church of Seventh day adventists. Why does it have to be so? Why cant we have comfort and sexy? Or Why can’t I be the one who does underwear shopping like it is a hobby not a chore? Pick out pieces for an Egyptian princess not a mummy? Choose style over comfort and strut with the bags on the tube unapologetically.  I really don’t have the answers, I may have to get back to you on this one because I was rudely interrupted by the sale alarm I put online for “the it bra for mums sold over 200 in Madagascar alone” sigh.

That day  after the train goddess encounter I got so triggered that I went online for a good ole shopping experience for underwear, one I have never embarked on before but firmly shut my laptop because I just couldnt go through with it. I need comfort too so I am on a mission to find a brand that does both and subsequently boost their profits by 25%. If you know of this mythical brand please let me know, I don’t want a repeat of walking PAST Victoria Secret with hubby where he pushed me inside so hard that I got severe whiplash and a concussion ?. Help me pipo I need to find that brand. Please comment below.

About this outfit 

I saw these boots at public desire in March/April this year. I had seen the Balenciaga version and thought no difference, I will get them. Two days Later, sold out! I couldn’t believe my eyes. I cried (there was some wailing too), then I opened the bible to give me verses on strength. I was on the phone to public desire and was put on a waiting list (when you are not Chanel or Hermes) but you are affordable so God is good all the time ?. Finally in August I got a shipment, I passed out when I saw the long package and knew exactly what it was. Unfortunately these are sold out so you can get an alternative here 

Blazer- Hubbys closet ? Charles Trywitt blazer

Skirt Zara (old)

Until next time Buttercups. Don’t forget to drop a comment below.