You don’t have to be in the competition 

…is what my son said to me when we were up in late hours desperately trying to finish a “voluntary” bug project competition he was asked to join by his teacher. At first I got a bit annoyed and irritated by the comment, does this young man know that every job interview he will attend, every auction, every contract bid in life is a competition? After my brief moment, I put myself together and realised he doesn’t know better so my job as a parent is  to educate  him about competition and the real world.

As a child I was never competitive. I always scored in the top three in my class in academics and I was very sporty and musical. I was an all rounder and didn’t think I needed to be competitive to prove anything to anyone. It was thesame in high school, I did well in academics, my social life and also excelled in sports. These periods built my self confidence, I knew who I was and was highly secure in myself,  that was until I applied for my first job at 16 and was rejected. Its funny because I thought my performance at the interview was great and  could only be compared to an Executive director with 30 years of experience in the banking industry, you know, confident, cocky, god like with a sprinkle of humour all at the same time. I was absolutely shocked when I was told a resounding “NO” and I thought “do they know who I am?”, “every other company in this industry want me, but I want you” (shelf stacking industry that is, its a thing I can assure you) 😂. 

Then I began to see all the competition around me, in university when you leave the library at 9pm to go home and see your course mates sipping on a freshly made brew,  just settling in for a night of studying. When people borrowed books strategically just to ensure other people and groups never have access to the books for key projects and assignments. When people do everything to be the lecturers pet just to get ahead in grades. I saw all of these happening and thought, I am going to peel my layers to reveal my competitive side, game on!

My relationship with competitive people in the past have been very dicey, I found over competitive people unattractive for friendships, I didnt want to hide successes from friends because I think it will make them unhappy or jealous of my success. I never wanted to develop a complex because of people who strive to be better than the next. I stayed away! But as years roll by you ask yourself “How are you a judge of competitiveness all of a sudden?”, “who appointed you the leader of the yardstick in which competitiveness is measured?” Now when I meet such people , I draw them close, I want them to guide me in something that is not inherent in me. I dread the thought of being left behind so I use them as a sharpening tool, to keep me in check and show me the trail, why not?

So you can understand my sadness in seeing my son, the most confident child on earth, talented all round taking the same steps as me in not being a competitor. After he told me he didn’t have to enter the competition because it wasn’t compulsory, I sat him down and told him if he wanted to excel then he has to compete, compete with course mates, industry peers, the next candidate and most importantly himself! But he must always remember to stay in his path and not do anything that felt like it was taking him away from what he wad destined for. If you are not in it to win it you will never get the prize. Monday motivation. I hope we help our children realise this important life lesson.  That reminds me, off to play the lottery guys, wish me luck 😂

About this outfit

This was a fun outfit for  me to play around with, monochrome with a splash of red. Although I was compared to a Flamenco dancer, I didn’t care because I absolutely loved it.

Earrings Asos (old). I found these cute pair on etsy (oh I love etsy). 

Hat is from TK Sale 

Top was  on sale in Very but unfortunately they are out of stock

Shoes here 

Until next time Buttercups. Go out there and get it